so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This house was built for laser tag.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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