I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
