The maid of honor just puked.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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