Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
