WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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