Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
