Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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