i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
