It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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