Define "chronic" masturbator.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize