Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize