If that was your dad, he is hot
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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