Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
