now i know why i became what i already was.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize