I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
