bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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