I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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