Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
