I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
