I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
