All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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