I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
