how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
