remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
