two words: eviction party
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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