apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
