But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
