I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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