Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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