Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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