I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
