she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
