I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
