i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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