If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
