I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
