Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
