We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
