The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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