I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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