So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
