I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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