Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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