the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
