Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
