i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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