I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Actions speak louder than pants.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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