We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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