feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
