Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
