Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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