Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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