I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
