i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
