guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
