Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
