so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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