Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
